we moved to a town about an hour away. he has problems going around my family because they are not too fond of him because of some stupid stuff he did but they would not be ugly to him if he were there. when it comes time for him to go pick his up i try to go see mine and it causes alot of trouble, he tells me we can go pick his up and then go see mine(his kids like to go over there too) but when it comes time to do it he backs out and i'm stuck not getting to see mine. it happens everytime. he tries to turn it around on me and says i want to start a fight so i can go party or something and thats not true, i just want him to keep his word.i miss my kids too and just because they are older doesn't mean they don't miss there moma. my youngest used to come spend the night but she doesn't anymore because of the other stupid stuff he did that made my parents dislike him. what do i do about this? i have a very close family and i have hardly seen any of them since we got married.Advice please......my hubby and i both have children from previous marriages, none live with us ...?
Go visit your kids on alternating weekends. Leave him home. Just go.Advice please......my hubby and i both have children from previous marriages, none live with us ...?
You married a self centered man who is deliberately keeping you from your children and you are allowing it. If I was one of your kids I wouldnt want to be with you either for choosing him over me. Youre pathetic.
stand your ground - if he doesnt want to arrange a time for you to go there with him - THAN GO WOTHOUT HIM!!! make a point to tell him exactly what you have told us, spell it out an dmake sur ehe understands that you love him - BUT YOU LOVE YOUR CHILDREN AS WELL. all parties are adults and can move beyond the past in order to respect who ever you have chosen to be married to. He needs to understand that although your family may only be trying to protecting you from those ';stupid'; things you mentioned, how in the hell are your family members supposed to get past it and like him if he doesnt make any effort to spend time with them. seems simpel enough - the decision is his - go with you and try to make ammends OR dont and you are going without him.
It has been said in Ephesians chapter 5, that a man and woman will be as ONE when married. And they will leave their mother and father. This has to be done. Your family has to accept this fact, and back up you and your husband's love for each other. You may have to make your own plans to see your children. Even if you pick up yours, and he picks up his...then meet at an agreed location or at your place of residence. Either way, it's going to be hard if your husband is not cooperative. But, at least one way or another you'll see your children.
i would sit down and talk, let him know how u feel. good luck!
First of all why haven't you put down your foot to see your own children! That is nothing but neglect on your part especially since your youngest has stopped sleeping over! It's not fair of him to not see your children when you are happy to see his. I take it his side doesn't get ugly or have resentment toward you. Your husband should step up and be man enough to face up to what ever it is that he has done that your part of the family has a problem with and say he is sorry! It would just take him a few minutes to utter those words. Maybe he feels ashamed of what he has done and doesn't want to face up to it but it is eventually going to lead to your own divorce again. He is being selfish and a jerk and if you care at all for your children you will go see them no matter what. Drop his a** off at a park or at his kids house while you see yours. Neglecting your children isn't the answer for his shortcomings. If he can;t try to work with you NOW in overcoming obstacles then IS your marriage really going to be a strong one that will last?
You mentioned he did some ';stupid stuff'; and that your parents don't like him. It couldn't have been very minor if it alienated your entire family. And by the way he's treating you now, it sounds like maybe your parents are right about him. A mother should never allow a man to keep her from a relationship with her children. Just take a second a think about how this looks to your kids. They probably see you as a weak woman who would allow a man to manipulate you into not seeing your kids as often as you want to. If you really want to have the close family you claim to have, you need to be a part of their lives. Don't let this guy take that away from you.
Didn't you know this about the selfish man that you married before you married him? Just go see your kids on your own and he can go see his....problem solved.
try and talk things through , and explain how you feel , you never know , might just work, try and decide on what day (s) he thinks that they could come round and stay over , find out if there is anyone in your family would be willing to drop them off for you on a pre determined day , that way you fall into a routine , perhaps all the children could come to your house on the same day.
Sounds like typical control, manipulation and isolation. Is he abusive? Because with a history of control and isolation, it sounds like it. You're right, your family is very important to you and if he loved you, he'd not only understand, but encourage you to spend time with your kids. Be careful with this one... red flags are flying!
So, what were the things he did that caused your daughter to not come spend the night anymore and made your parents upset with him?
This certainly wouldn't fly with me. He'd be on the front porch along with his clothing in suitcases if he tried to prevent me from seeing my children. You need to ask yourself one simple question. Do you love him more than you love your children...are you willing to put him first before your children. If the answer is yes then I suggest you forget you ever had children.
Write out the agreement...that you go to his then to yours and have him sign it. Then when he backs out again, show it to him.
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