I'm married since 11mths and have a 1mth old baby.my husbnd and I r 8yrs difference old-arranged marriage.I live in my inlaws place.He is vry much family attached.We have not enjoyed life as a newly married couple bcoz he spends most of the time with his family,sister and her children.I want him2spend time with me.He lovs me as a wife but at the same time he shares his lov with evr1.I've not enjoyed a life as any girl expects as we dont get enof privacy.I gues tis is natural with any girl.I lov him and he lovs me too.But the problem is these disturbances affect our life.Now he has started2drink and smoke(he already had tis habits befor marriage but had stopped it for me).I kno it is gud2lov his family but he don't spend time specially for us(me%26amp;baby).I also told him that we wil live separately and wil visit inlaws place once a week.but he is stuborn tat he wil not come frm his family.(he sacrificed his lover as his famil dint acept).Pls hlp me wit advice on how2lead a happy life..plsPlease save my marriage life...please I require ur genuine advice?
Can't help you there. I've never had (and never will have) and arranged marraige. If a man isn't ready to share his life with me as his priority, then no way! Sorry!Please save my marriage life...please I require ur genuine advice?
He dint marry his lover bcoz his parents dint accept.... that shows u cannot possibly pull him out of his house to live separately! So, just abandon that idea.... for now atleast. I guess all u r looking for is your fair share of his time and attention. Ask him to take u out for dinner or someplace of ur choice once in a while, u cud feed ur baby and leave her/him with ur in-laws to take care of, say for abt 2 to 2 n a half hrs... of course it cud be much longer if u r not breast-feeding. Going out to shop for ur newborn cud be a great idea. Considering that he just seems to love everyone around him including u and ur baby... he must be a nice guy. He sounds like the kind of person who is not able to show his love to you the way u want it. Tell him what is lacking n make him understand in whatever way possible... Dont grumble and complain all the time to him abt his parents n his sister. that would only create more problem and distance. And i hope you dont think that he is having a happy life at your expense or anything of the sort and hence dont keep a long face throughout the day... It is normal to be stressed out while u've got a baby very recently... dont see it as a burden... Look at things in life with a smile on your face..
Genuine advice, since I don't really know you or your husband's family, would be to see if you could get your husband to go to a marriage counselor. The counselor will help you communicate and help you decide if you both have unrealistic expectations of marriage in general and then see if you can compromise so you're not both unhappy.
In my humble opinion, happiness comes from within. Nobody can ';make'; us happy or unhappy. It is a choice we make for ourselves. So think about this for awhile, too. You might find a different perspective of your situation.
Perhaps you could schedule 'dates' or something similar into your week. Come up with some different ways to work in some private time and hopefully he can appreciate this alone time and appreciate you for this. Whether or not it's true, it could turn him off if he feels like you're nagging him. With your thoughtful ideas, he will hopefully reciprocate and things will improve. Happiness is in your hands. Good luck!
dear try to get in 2 ur husband's heart dear i too had the same problem before but what i did was i used to spend more time with his family i used to always love and care about his family and i used 2 ignore him some time to make him feel that he needs me and the last thing try to have good sex with him at the bed coz if u give him good sex i am very much sure he will be mad for u dear
try this i hope this will work out
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