Any advices?I have to make a difficult decision.I am married,have a child (from the1st marriage),but my ?

daughter grew up with my husband,so he is like a father to her.The problem is my husband has a psychological sickness which drives us both(me and my daughter) crazy. He is also a VERY stingy person.Sex life is zero.I thought it麓s time for me to go to psycho-hospital,I was at the end of my emotional and physical limits.Then I met him.This man was so different,he was from another world.The problem is that he is married.It麓s not that I took him away from his wife.Before he had another relationship,but that woman was at the end not the one he was looking for.To make the long story short.I feel sorry about my husband,I am afraid if I leave him his health condition will get even worse,though he has his difficult character ,I think he loves my daughter ,because he helps a lot in her studying,they communicate really good.It麓s just when he has his bad mood ,then we are under the psycho-pressure.Another problem is that the man I have met is still officially married and i am afraid he won麓t love my daughter and she will be unhappy.I am afraid to make a mistake,but I also want to be happy as woman and as a mother.Hopefully my chaotic letter has explained my situation.Please only serious answers.Thank you.Any advices?I have to make a difficult decision.I am married,have a child (from the1st marriage),but my ?
Try to fix your marriage first , what are the reasons that sex life is zero ? maybe he needs medical help . Moving from one husband to another should be done for very good reasons and after losing all the hopes for fixing the marriage . If you feel you'll fall in sin because you don't have sex with him and there is no cure for his case then you have the right to leave him if you want and find another unmarried man to marry.


I can see that you want to keep with him only because of your daughter , well if you can make this sacrifice for your daughter and for him not to get more sick then be it if you want , you know yourself better but if you decided to leave and you have the right for this decision then don't want you to worry about your daughter , one day she will grow up and have her life , separation from him will be difficult for her in the beginning but then she will be adapt .


I don't think you'll manage to marry the other married man , if you reached the decision to divorce your husband wait for a better unmarried man to marry .


Good luck .Any advices?I have to make a difficult decision.I am married,have a child (from the1st marriage),but my ?
Your situation is too complicated.


There is no Via Media in this life my dear lady.


Either you have to accept this man as he is or dump and leave him to his fate.


Start a fresh life with someone who gives you everything without asking you anything.
If you are so unhappy seperate from you husband but do not get with anyone else anytime soon. You need to put your daughters well being first. One day she will be gone and you can do what you want but until then she is #1.
You have to leave him for your own protection.





However, don't look to this other man as a savior. he appears to have a history of infidelity.





Get yourself taken care of first.



if you leave your husband, do it for the right reason. let it be because things did not work out between the 2 of you not because you want to be with someone else. do not rely on someone else to make you happy
What does ur daughter have to do with it. You are to complicated to even understand.
This is complicated.





Try asking on:


http://spousesanonymous.ning.com/
The man that you are having the relationship with that's not your husband also has some problems if he keeps having relationships with other women that are not his wife. So you would be putting your daughter in another situation that is unstable. Maybe you should just get you and your daughter in a place where you are not at risk for some type of heartbreak or mental abuse.
I am sure this is not the best time to get involve with another man, especially a married man because you're unsure what to do. Seeing what happen with your marriage, do you want to break another person's marriage? Let's not avoid the facts by seeking a way out, but look on the bright side... Your daughter gets along with her father, and they both communicate well. The daughter deserves a healthy family and future. At the present, you should work the issues out with your husband.





It's very difficult for you to resolve this on your own or with your husband by what you wrote. It's best to seek counseling or psychotherapist. If you're afraid that there're frictions when asking your husband to attend such therapy, then can ask him to accompany you, so he won't be upset. Making sure you let the psychotherapist knows that in advance, so he can get your husband involves while there. I am sure your husband will start the conversation once you tell him to accompany you to a therapist. Just remember don't identify him as the sole problems generator.





Hope all goes well in the near future.
as you know i have been in a similar situation. i would say to you please be very careful - the grass is not always greener. If possible separate from your husband and live on your own with your daughter. Do you have any where to go? Could he go anywhere to live? Does he have a psychiatric nurse who could support him throught the split? Maybe talk to his Gp about things to see what support could be put in place for him. You cant stay with him because you are worried about his mental health, eventually you will really resent him and it will destroy you both.


You dont mention if you love either of these men ? do you ? You have to be sure that you are making the right decision as the fall out will really affect your daughter. Why not go for counseeling for yourself?


You also need support and need someone to talk to.


I wish you well, but be careful, you can never really judge a man you are having an affair with totally.


Also is he a good long term investment ? Imagine a years time if you are living together . will you be able to trust him ?


Good luck
Your afraid that this man wont love your daughter, well how about your daughter being unhappy that you are taking her away from the one father that has been a constant in her life? You don't mention that her real dad is even in the picture, so this would be the third 'dad' you would put in your child's life?





One thing you know for sure about this man is the he is unfaithful in relationships and has no difficulty cheating on a wife. Is that really the example you want around your daughter? Even if you made a little family, you would eventually have to explain his absence to your daughter, why he's staying out late or not coming home at all (yes, once a cheater always a cheater). You mentioned that the man ditched his prior girlfriend, what makes you think he's looking for another wife, especially since he has not divorced the first one? He may just be looking for a relationship on the side, but not be looking for a wife and kid.
You are in a difficult situation. First, as far as your husband goes, sounds like he needs some professional help for his illness and if he refuses to get it, I would leave and make a new life for myself. You deserve to be happy and it doesn't sound like you are now. Second, the other man is not the answer. He is married and not available. The fact that he has had at least one other affair speaks for his character. I would say until he is divorced and available you should stay clear of him. In the meantime, do what is best for yourself and your daughter. Change can be difficult, but it is well worth it.
Get your husband some help.


He obviously cares for his daughter alot, so dont take that away from him.





I know you must be feeling pretty lonely right now because of it, but seeing another married man, im sorry, but its not the answer.





If you cant talk to your husband about his problem then talk to a marriage councillor or psychologist about it.


Its easy to get help, so dont give up on your husband.


There's obviously still love there otherwise he wouldnt be making an effort with your daughter.





Of course if he became violent, then you need to think about your daughter first.
its easy to be attracted to someone else when you your current life relationship has problems. This is not the way to sort things out. Forget the married man unless you want more drama, stress and problems not to mention what kind of role model you are to your daughter to be having a fling with a married man or any man. You are not sorting things out but looking to avoid dealing with your husband and need to either get him help or separate from him. Tough decisions made worse if you get involved with someone else and not to mention the hurt you will create do you really want that.
If this man is married, I would not trust him. If he will cheat on his wife, he will cheat on you too. You don't need to put your child through that. It would probably be best if you left your husband, and found a guy that was truly available. You don't want to give your child the idea that it is okay to date married men, or that her future husband should be allowed to cheat. You are not doing her any favors. She has already gone through enough losing two fathers. She does not need to wonder where this man is on holidays and get attached, and him decide to stay with his wife.





Here's a huge hint. You are very naive. Married guys tell you these stories so that they can get you to sleep with them on the side. They lie and say they do not sleep with their wives, and that the wife does not understand them, and that they love you. These are all lies. If they did not love their wives, or could not get along with them, then why aren't they divorced? Wouldn't it be better for the both of them?





Tell him that you can not pursue the relationship until he files for divorce. My guess is that he never will. Then you will know for sure. Don't set yourself up for more misery. You have already experienced enough.