I keep trying to help my marriage, but i just want to give up!!! advice?!?

i just recently got married this year. everything seemed to be going alright until we found out we're having a baby. i am soooo excited...he is NOT. he constantly tries to fight with me, and he has been totally stressing me out. i've tried everything from books and seminars, to nice dinners...he has no compassion for me anymore. sometimes i just want to talk to him, about my day or something, and he just rolls over in bed and tells me that i'm a nag, and to leave him alone. i dont want to get a divorce, but i dont want to hurt any longer. i feel like ever since i got pregnant, he finds no interest in me, because we cannot go out together for a drink or something. its like he loved me more when i could smoke and drink with him. what do i do? i dont want to have that lifestyle now. any suggestions?I keep trying to help my marriage, but i just want to give up!!! advice?!?
Honey, all I can say is it probably will get worse. He sounds so selfish and immature. I am so sad for you. You are a nag? No way. What an insensitive ***! Like you got pregnant all by yourself! Good luck. You deserve better than that. Hopefully he will change once he sees his newborn baby, but if he doesn't...don't waste your life with someone who isn't going to care for you!I keep trying to help my marriage, but i just want to give up!!! advice?!?
Some men don't want kids. But that should of been some


thing you talked about before. Getting a divorce seems like


the end of the world at the time, but it isn't. Don't stay with


someone who treats you that way. How is he going to treat


the child. How can you depend on someone who you can't


even talk to.
perhaps he is just scared? its a huge adjustment to make. When i got pregnant my husband became really irrespnsible, going and staying out all night at mates houses (e didnt cheat, just didnt want to be around) as soon as he felt it kick, he started calming down a bit, then when we finally had him, things went back to normal pretty much. I would say stick with it till youve had the baby, your hormones are back to normal, and he realises what he has got. Good luck with it all, being a parent is the best thing in the world
You need counseling and quick.... If not this is going to be a terrible marriage for you!.. Well so he wont go for counseling.... Sit him down and look him right in the eyes and get it off your chest... (EVERYTHING THAT IS BOTHERING YOU) now if he still balks (and this will hurt you to say but lets see how much he loves you) You say then I am getting an abortion see if he gulps or is compassionate if he says OK? He sure does not love you!!! You truly need counseling... I wish you love and luck.... Grant M in Pennsylvania
Did the two of you discuss when you would start a family? I get the feeling you did not and that you both had very different ideas on what your married life would look like. Have you looked at this from his side? Do you even know what his side is? He may feel that he is backed into a corner and that he is stuck and that all you are interested in is the baby and yourself. Having a child is far from a romantic proposition. He may be worried about money and loss of freedom. There is nothing wrong with wanting to enjoy your wife and your social life as a couple before you have children. Also, some people don't want children, are you sure he does? I think the best shot you have is to let him know that you really want to understand how he is feeling and try to find ways to compromise. At the least it will let you know whether the two of you can work out your issues or not.
The relationship has shifted too soon for your husband...He probably didn't want children or wanted to put it off until later....His behavior is just his imature reaction to your pregnancy...........Your in motherhood stages and he's stuck in newlywed dreams of partying....You two need to find a common ground...Figure out things your can enjoy together....No you can't smoke/drink with him but you can go dancing....catch a movie...invite family %26amp; friends over to celebrate the new addition to your family.........Let your husband know that you have concerns just like he does and it would benefit you both to share them work through it and be happy...If he can't get with the program then leave....A stressful pregnancy is an unhealthy one.................
Unfortunately my dear, this sounds more like a fling than an actual marriage to him. I'm sorry to say but you and the baby need a trip away from him. Whether it's visting your parents or an actual divorce, you need the break to cut down the stress. Try in your best power to keep yourself in mental and emotional stability, but if you can't, then you will need to ask for help from someone, a friend, family member, something of the sort. And if they say you need to leave him, and you disagree, you may want to think about this -- they probably see something you don't.





Goodluck!


May Lynn





P.S. Congradulations on they child. :-)
Girl I know you do not want to get a divorce but he is probably frustrated about the whole pregnancy thing he sees that you can not do all of those fun thing well you did not get pregnant alone he needed to help you right so he needs to put his foot down and you need to help him and get him involved this is not fair. For you or for you baby and you need to relax. Just ignore him for a while. He is being a but head and that is not right and if all fails the I suggest you leave and find someone who really deserves you I mean he is already being an *** then why not boot his *** out and get child support becuase if not all you are going to do is be miserable and that is not right and it is not fair for you.
Sounds like you did not know the real man that you were marrying and now his true side is out and you are shocked. Now you got a baby coming into this mess as well. Hummm, somebody didn't do their homework. You are going to need counselling. Hurry, run, go!
First of all was this child planned or you just got pregnant because some people do plan their pregnancy he sounds like he is not to happy about becoming a father, and then again it could just be that he feels that he will be left out once the baby comes. Here you are talking about divorce because your pregnant and he does not show interest in you any more this is not what marriage is all about being able to communicate betweeen one another plays important part marrige is not something you can just get into and than run when times are bad. Thats why it is very important to know what your partmner wants out of life and his interest before you marry them. So your unhappy with the way he treats you let him know how you feel about the way he has been treating you.





best of luck
be nice i guess.
The man is probably just scared. You both need to talk. (If he won't say you are nagging) But seriously, talking will let you know why his change in behaviour. Please don't let it turn into an argument. At worst, do your best to hold on tight until the baby is born. The paternal instinct will naturally kick in. A baby is a gift to adore and treasure, hopefully he will come back to himself and show you compassion after he's witnessed the pain in childbirth. ( Make sure he's there for both of you)


Don't do anything to help him escape that experience, it changes some men (those with hearts) to see their women go through labour for their baby.
Congratulations on your positive attitude...Your husband is acting immature,%26amp; may feel he doesn't want his lifestyle to change as yet.Ask him if he's talk with you about this,%26amp; give it a few days.If nothing changes,you can tell him that this is a time that you want %26amp; need his support,that your both part of this blessed event,%26amp; you want to understand what he's feeling. Hopefully,he'll open up %26amp; things will clear up between you.You'll have to make a decision if things don't change,because this baby deserves 2 parents,but it's better for the child to have 1 good parent,than 2 parents that are not happy with each other...The best to you.
I would say you both need to go to a marriage counselor. You need to fix these issues before the baby comes because then things will only get harder. He may just be really scared about what kind of father he will be, and if he can suppert a family, stuff like that. Try to get him to share his feelings with you.