Need marriage advice?

I just need some opinions on what i should do. We have filed for divorce after 6 years of marriage,but now he keeps begging me to forget about it and try to make our marriage work. The problem is that I don't know if it can work because we fight so much. He has spent most of the relationship lying to me and running off all the time and I just don't know if I can trust him. I don't think he has ever cheated on me though. It has gotten so bad that we don't ever have sex anymore. We haven't kissed in more then 3 years and if he tries to kiss me I turn my head away. We have talked about all of our problems for years, but he has never made an effort to work on them, but now he says he will if I give our marriage another chance. We have 2 small children ( 2%26amp; 5) and I would like it to work for them, but i just don't know if it's worth all the fighting. I guess my question is this... If I no longer feel in love with him, because of all the hurt he's caused can it be fixed ?Need marriage advice?
It CAN, but the real question is, do you have any faith that it WILL? He can say anything, (and it sounds like he has) but if he's not truly willing to make an effort, there's no point.Need marriage advice?
to tell the truth once you out of love thats it nobody cant tell you how to love somebody when you know that person or what he is worth and for the kids they still can have a daddy dont put him on child support if he is doing right by them but think about it live the rest of ur life wondering why the hell ur here or leave and enjoy what you have left but the choice is urs so pray and think about it
i would have to say no i was married for 4 yrs also with two kids but she was kinda the same way i heard her say she would change atleast 10 times while we were married but it never happened when its time to let go then thats what you have to do of course your going to have to see him and talk to him cause of the kids but a intimated realationship just wont work.
Yes, it can be fixed. Do it for the sake of your vows and committment and your children!





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Please, make it work, otherwise you'll go through the same thing again with the next marriage.
Fixing this marriage will take 100% dedication on both parties. Seek out counseling for the both of you, separately and together. Get to the root of the problem and make a plan to fix it. Give it a chance to work.
As you mentioned you have 2 small kids %26amp; you would like to work for them.But the thing is you don't love this man anymore....so it would be kind of compromise living with him.You can give it a try if you think it will really work.
I would give it another try, you both have to put out 100% for each other, keep giving to him and he will give back to you. Love each other and drop what happened in the past to make it work for your future.
if you've been married 6 six years - and haven't kissed in 3 years - then that two year old must have been a miracle or


you was out doin' the nasty with someone else
Did you love him before you met him?


Think about it.
doesn't make much sense.. not sharing affection to the point of not kissing for 3 years, but you had a second child....





and why do you deny his kisses? obviously he is making an effort....





he hasn't cheated on you.... so what is he doing when he runs off?? do you ever consider that? why don't you try being a part of his life, get involved, don't be so cold to his attempts to piece things back together..





unless.. you just don't love him, and then you need to let him go so he can find someone who will.





and as far as your kids go.. don't stay together just because of them, it will hurt them worse to have parents that won't touch, fight, and aren't in love than to have parents who are apart but get along and are civil.
The good news is that yes your marriage can be fixed and YOU are the one who has to do it..


A few tips I can give you:


1) A happy home can have only 1 head. Meaning between my hubby and me, we have very few arguments or fights because, when we have to decide on something (doing something for parents, kids, what to cook for dinner, hot to manage finances, anything...) I give him my opinions. I am as strongly opinionated as him...so he gives me the right to express what I think we should do. Then, he gives his views and HE DECIDES...I accept it unquestioningly.. He has sometimes accepted in my favor, sometimes not..


I believe, he is the HEAD of our home..and I am the neck, so I get to decide which direction he turns...By doing this you can avoid fights..


2) As far as him lying to you goes, create an atmosphere at home, where he can say things freely to you, without having to think whether this will spoil your mood, or whether you will get upset. Once, you create that atmosphere, he will not lie


3) He hasn't made an effort to work on your problems, how about you start? What changes have you made in yourself to make your relationship work?


You do first, he will follow.


More importantly, you have kids... do it for them..


Seeing mom and dad in love and together, will help them grop up emotionally secure.


TIP: Read the book, Five love languages. Available in major book stores
No it cant be fixed, and please dont stay together for the sake of your children.


They are young enough to adapt now and if you leave it any longer and try to keep fixing it your kids will know whats going on and it will affect them.


People dont change, they try and with the best will in the world it may work for a little while, but then it goes back to how it was and its too late then.


I would go ahead with the divorce and stay on friendly terms with him after all you have children together.


Once the divorce is through the pressure will be off both of you and your relationship will improve.


I think you both need this for breathing space, and please do it now for the sake of the children, its never never right to stay together for them. They need two parents that get on and that doesn't mean they have to live together to achieve that.


Lastly and most importantly, if you dont love him any more then you never will again.
Dr. Phil says ';past behavior is a good indicator of future behavior'; %26lt;I so agree%26gt;. If he hasn't changed by now or before now WHY WOULD you think it would be any different if you tried again?





I am never one to advocate divorce, especially when children are involved but if he has a history of habitually lying to you, if your love has been squashed and dimmed to the point of not knowing if you eve love him anymore - it seems to be you would be doing a terrible dis-service to yourself and your children to take him back without any assurance that anythng will be any different this time around.





At the very MOST I might tell him you'll TRY dating him for a while before you finalize the divorce to SEE if you detect any changes but you WON'T take him back yet. His true colors will come through and you can decide once %26amp; for all. Being happy %26amp; alone is better than unhappy and together isn't it? YOUNG children are strong %26amp; resilient and are young enough to get over this and you are young enough to find another LOVE to spend your life with too....





I say cut your losses and don't do something out of guilt, feeling sorry for him, or being made to feel bad about your kids not having their father around. YOU've tried this and it sounds like you tried hard. SOMETIMES mistakes are just that mistakes. you've got to decide what is best for you and your kids above all else.
Hi


Yes it can be fixed. But after all the let-downs and disappoinments in the marriage,it will take a lot of effort,trust building,and TIME.If you two are really serious about it, go for it. Sometimes all it takes is the one MORE chance to get it right. I am not telling you to put all your trust to set your self up for failure again, but give him the benefit of the doubt and possibly you two can come to some type of agreement. I wouldn't run out and get married again, but work on building your relationship and keep the children out of your fueds. They don't deserve to see what Mommy and Daddy are going through right now.


I think you have turned cold-hearted after all the cheatings and lies. It takes a lot of effort on both sides to make this work. I wish you the best of luck!