I am not happy in my marriage because I married out of pity only 3months after I met her..can you advice me?

the complications%26gt;


1.we have 2 boys already


2.most importantly,we married in church


and my religion frowns at divorce.....I am not happy in my marriage because I married out of pity only 3months after I met her..can you advice me?
Well one thing, you cannot fight your feelings. I say that if you are truly unhappy you get out of the situation.





I understand that you have children together but the children usually suffer if one of the parents is stressed. If being separated or divorce makes you feel better and helps your life it will help your self esteem with your children.





I absolutely do not agree that you should have gotten married out of pity. And I think that is 10 times worse than getting a divorce. I understand your religion frowns upon divorce. But should it frown upon your happiness?





You can only choose what is best for you. No religion or other sort of affiliations should tell you otherwise.I am not happy in my marriage because I married out of pity only 3months after I met her..can you advice me?
Why did you marry her? You didn't even love her. Well I don't think there is anything you could do about it. I mean unless you'd want to get a divorce. It would be sad for the kids. So I can just tell you to try and be happy.
Talk to her,


thats the only thing you can do, im sure she can sense ur not 2 happy and would want things to work out,


for your sake and the kids.
Why do you care about divorce?


My religion frowns on pre-martial sex and children born to un wed parents! And that never stopped you!
i still believe that marriage is not something you do because you are forced into it. nobody can force you into it.





and as you said, you felt pity for the girl. but you still did it out of your own will right? also you did it in a church. so it means there was preparation for the wedding. and you had lots of time to reconsider your decision.





you shouldn't have done it in the first place. but since it's done already, i urge you to again be a man like what you did before. stand up for your earlier decision. i also believe it is not hard to learn to love someone if you only give it a chance. plus you already have 2 kids.
Normally I'd say ';Get Out'; but you won't do it. You'll feel sorry for her and go back, so try some counseling and tough it out
Hopefully the kids have her genes and not yours. What do you pity about her? Do her a favor and tell her your an idiot and want her to be happy, then leave her so she can build her self asteem back up, go to church and ask for forgiveness for marrying not for love but for whatever absent half witted reason you can come up with. Oh, one more thing you could do...get yourself fixed so you can't spawn. If you want sympathy I think you came to the wrong place.
Pity for what? Don't say you married out of pity. There is no man on this earth that is that selfless. You had to be getting something out of it. And let me add.....what could you pity in her? I find it pitiful that any man would claim to marry out of pity. I think maybe she is the one that pittied you for your immaturity sorry to say.
did you have sex with her out of pity? conceive 2 children out of pity?





marriage in a church is not the most important thing, it's love. why would you marry someone you didn't love, THEN have children with her? let her go and find someone who actually will love her, not just feel pity for her.





it's more wrong to stay in a marriage when you aren't happy than it is for you to get a divorce.
It's not her fault or your church's fault you're where you are now. I suggest you dig deep inside yourself and try to come up with something happy about your situation since YOU put yourself there. No one is responsible for making YOU happy, not even your wife. If you're not happy it is because you CHOOSE not to be. Your life is what YOU make it. If you intend to make it miserable you WILL succeed in doing so.
I'm sure your church would frown more if they knew you got married out of pity and not out of genuine love for your wife.


Get a divorce, make is as painless as possible and do what you can to keep your family together. Children coming from a divorced household are often better adjusted than children who come from unhappy marriages simply because they aren't in the middle of all the conflict and tension.


Staying in an unhappy marriage because your church frowns upon divorce is not a good enough reason to condemmn you're entire family to a life of misery. A religion or a church doesn't feel pain or emotions like people do and you are more likely to hurt yourself, your wife and your children by staying than you would by leaving.


Make your own peace with God, ask for his forgiveness then do what you have to do to give your family (including your wife) a better, happier life.
Pity does not link here at all.What has pity got to do with two kids born after your marriage?You are just having an emotional breakdown .Go and sit down with your wife have a nice chat where you re feeling low on the end.Communication is the best way to find the root of a problem.
really didn't give enough information. 1) why did you pity her? 2) how long have you been married?


My first marriage was out of pity. I pitied him because his family was so mean to him. The only time they wanted him around was to get things from him and to be mean to him (example: for Christmas they would buy him pants that they knew wouldn't fit. When he give them back to get them to exchange them for the right size they just kept the money and he got nothing.) But, if you are unhappy than she much be also. Talk to her. Let her know how unhappy you are and that you will support the kids and help her financially as much as you can until she fines a job and gets on her feet. You might be surprised in the answer at she gives you. And for your religion if you are catholic they do have annulments . Even if you have kids you can do what the church ask for; I know because my husband was catholic. I hope I have been of some help. GOOD LUCK
kids would rather come from a broken home then live in one


if youre not happy then youre not doing either of you a favour


im sure church frowns on lies too. so get out
You loved her enough to have children with her. Too bad, you should have thought about that when you were f*****g her. Get marriage counseling and live with your mistakes.